Here is a list of things to watch out for when polishing your stories:
Spell out numbers.
Don’t have characters suspended in a vacuum. Create a scene. So instead of saying he said, she said at the end of dialogue, (which are called tags), tell us who is speaking by having the character move, or do something, like pick up a glass of water, or a book. Put items in the room, or wherever the character is.
Proper punctuation for dialogue ending with a tag: “She wanted to kill the orc,” Grandfather said. Note that a comma goes inside the double quote marks and that there’s a period after the word said.
Watch for run-on sentences.
Use punchy verbs. Example:
She ran from the room.
She bolted from the room.
Whenever someone else replies, or a different character talks, make it a new paragraph.
Don’t put your story in one big paragraph.
Show, don’t tell. Have the action happening as the story unfolds. Don’t have someone tell a story about the action after it has already occurred. This makes it more exciting, and keeps the reader interested.
Know the difference between “there” and “their.” When you are editing your work, look for these words and make sure you are using the correct one. “Their” shows possession.
Example: The elves stayed in there forest. This is wrong. It should be — The elves stayed in their forest.
A comma goes before or after a name. Example: “And that is my story, Alexander.” Or — “Alexander, that is my story.”
Don’t back into dialogue a lot. Example: Grandfather said, “Be quiet so I can tell my story.” Do this maybe once. This is another way: “Be quiet so I can tell my story,” Grandfather said. OR EVEN BETTER–Grandfather raised his bushy brows and put a finger to his lips. “Be quiet now so I can tell my story.”
Instead of using tags, such as he said, she said–have the character do something before he says whatever. Example:
Kovu withdrew her sword from its sheath and ran a finger along the edge. Blood welled from the hairline cut, but she didn’t seem to notice. “You said recapture. Does that mean you have possessed it at one time?”
Make sure that if a different person is talking that the dialog is in a separate paragraph from the other character.
It was a dark and rainy night. A boy named Alexander who was eleven years old was sadly sitting by a window looking outside at the rain.
Then Alexander’s grandfather came up the stairs to Alexander’s room. “Alexander what are you doing up here?” asked the grandfather curiously.
“I am watching the rain fall because there is nothing else to do,” replied Alexander sadly.
Alexander’s grandfather then said, “How would you like to hear a story?”
“I would love to,” replied Alexander happily.
“Ok then this is a medieval story about a war. A war between elves, humans, orks, and demons.”
“Awesome! I love war stories” replied Alexander.
“Hush so that I may tell my story,” said the grandfather angrily.
“OK, sorry, grandfather. I did not mean to interrupt,” said Alexander sadly.
“It was a long time ago when orks, demons, and elves still existed and were not fairytales. The world was becoming a dark place. The orks and demons have allied with each other. Now the elves and humans must do the same. Each leader is a claymore. Each leader also has a special power.
“The ork leader is onee and has yoma sensing. She can sense demons and see what move you make before you make it. The demon leader is Nina and has a snake blade. She can move her blade so that it looks like a snake’s movements and is near impossible to block.
“The elf leader is Clare and has God’s Eye. She can see things far away, and can control the limbs of another creature. And the human leader is Teresa. She has suppressed yoma power.
“There is a fifth who goes by the name Priscilla but no one knows her race and what her powers are. Now, anyway, the demons and orks were gathering at an evil place–a place known only as satins hall. It is a valley with one way in and one way out. You can not climb out because the walls are lined with spikes that protrude ten feet out. Some even come in and out of the wall.
The elves remain in their deep forest. And the humans are in their castles. An elvin ambassador was sent to each castle unwillingly to request that all humans meet the elves in a sacred place. If they did not comply the elves would still help protect them you see the elves thought the humans as incomplete or worthless. But the elf leader knew that they could not win without the help of the humans however unwillingly her subjects may be. She told her ambassadors to tell the humans to meet the elves in a place called God’s Fist.
“God’s Fist is a paradise to elves and humans. It is a hill, or rather many hills that from a huge fist that goes up three miles into the air. Most of the humans agreed. Some did not and the ones that didn’t have already been attacked by orks many times. They are untrusting to anyone but their own kind. At the meeting at god’s fist the humans and elves argued about how they would beat the demons and orks.
“They fought for days then one day a demon was seen spying on them. He was captured and interrogated then he was killed. Many days later both armies met on the chosen battlefield. The battle began!
Both armies were giving it everything they had. Many died. Swords were cracked, bows were broken, and limbs were lost. The humans decided to fight off the orks. The elves fought the demons because they are the only ones who can match their speed and strength. Many fell. Many ran.
“In the end almost all the demons had been killed. The orks ran with what troops they had left. The humans left as well to heal their wounded. The elves had the humans take their wounded with them. The rest went to kill the surviving demons and orks. At this time the only ones of them that remained were the claymore leaders of each race.
Teresa took on Onee. Clare took on Nina. First the Onee and Teresa fought. Nina and Clare watched. The battle went on for hours.
Finally the onee was injured. Her arm was cut off! But it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t her sword arm. So the battle continued both were becoming weak with exhaustion. Finally Teresa let out here yoma energy and cut off the other arm.
Finally the head came off. Then Clare and nini went against each other. They went on for not hours but days. Neither seemed to be weakening or slowing down. Neither would back down. Both got injured. Finally Clare used her yoma power to control Nina’s limbs and tried to make her cut her own throat but Nina was too fast and powerful. She blocked it and cut off Clare’s sword arm.
Teresa suppressed her yoma energy and snuck up behind Nina. Teresa then cut off Nina’s head before she could cut off Clare’s. The battle was over. The humans and elves had prevailed.
“And that is my story, Alexander,” said his grandfather.
“That was amazing. Tell me another one sometime,” said Alexander happily.
“Ha ha. OK, sure. But you must be good, and rain doesn’t fall much here so you must be patient, too” replied his grandfather, laughing. “Perhaps one day you will have stories of your own,” said Alexander’s grandfather.
“Really? You think so?” replied Alexander happily.
miss some critical information (like the announcement that there will be a test next time or instructions on how to format your paper, let alone subject matter information).
not understand the lecture–it could be out of context and unclear to you.
miss out on a few minutes of transition time to clear your head of the last activity and start focusing on the new one. If you get to class late to begin with, it may take you another few minutes to begin understanding and thinking about the class you are in.
be docked on an attendance grade.
lose the respect of the instructor.
be disrupting the class for others. (I once had a 6′9″ basketball player who used to walk in late and then sit in the front row, obscuring the view of everyone behind him, because that was the only seat left open. After a week or two of this I had to pull him aside and make it clear to him that this was unacceptable!).
develop bad habits that will get you fired. You are preparing for your professional life, in which tardiness is usually not tolerated.
If you are sitting in your seat when the bell rings for your classes on October 27-30th, post a comment here–one for 5th period and one for 6th period. Please include the date. Posting a comment will get you in Friday’s drawing for a Gatorade.
These are characters based on real life characters. You might find biographical characters in…gasp!…biographies. Or you might find them in historical fiction, or in different human interest pieces. We’re going to study biographical characters and how we can tell facts from opinions, and how we look at inferences.
Learning about Biographical Characters: Indirect and Direct
Direct Characterization: the author gives you specific information about the character.
Example: In 2006, after some thirty years in journalism, Katie Couric became the first solo female evening news anchor.
Indirect characterization: the reader infers (to infer means to draw conclusions) what the character is like using the information in the text. We can do this by–
Looking to see what the character does.
Example: “After her husband died of colon cancer, Couric became an advocate for colon cancer awareness.” This is a fact, that she got involved in making people aware of the dangers of colon cancer. BUT what isn’t clearly stated is that losing her husband was a pivotal moment in her life. We can infer (or conclude) that she loved her husband, and was deeply hurt emotionally by his death. We can infer that this disease might have been prevented with early detection, and that maybe she feels guilty for not insisting he go in for a colonoscopy.
What he/she says. Example: Katie Couric: “I’m still ambitious. I want to win. I want to be the first. And you know what? It’s that quality that’s gotten me where I am.” We can infer that she is driven to perfection. We might also infer that she doesn’t let opinions of others get in her way. There are lots of inferences we can come up with here.
What she thinks/feels.
What others say about the character and how others act toward the characters. We can look at how others act toward the biographical character. For example, if others slink toward a dark corner of the room whenever she comes into the room, we can conclude that she isn’t well liked, or that she is intimidating. Or, if someone waits for hours to tell her how they lost the farm because their daughter caught Lime’s Disease and they had to sell their farm to pay for the bills, this will tell you that people believe that she can get an injustice fixed. You might have to do an interview to get others’ opinions.
Keys to Biographical Characters:
Really existed
Can be explored using first-hand accounts, interviews, family members, and more.
Can be presented with bias. A lot of things happen in a person’s life. If someone uses a biographical character, they might exclude certain things that happened to put the character in a more positive or more negative light. So be aware that the author might not be giving you the whole picture.
Common in essays, nonfiction accounts, biographies and historical fiction.
As the reader or author, you will need to sort fact from opinion/interpretation (or inferences).
Were you on time to class today? If so, tell me by commenting to this post. Be sure and tell me the class, whether it was 5th period, or 6th period. One comment for each period you were on time, please. At the end of the week, I will use my number randomizer to choose two winners for a bottle of gatorade!
Definition of timely per Merriam-Webster:
1: coming early or at the right time <a timely decision><timely payment> 2: appropriate or adapted to the times or the occasion <a timely book>
Are you familiar with the Arthurian Legends? Perhaps you have seen The Sword and The Stone? Or The Defense of Gweneviere? Or Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Alfred, Lord Tennyson takes the romance of this era, and puts it in this poem in the form of a ballad.
Who was Alfred, Lord Tennyson? What is a ballad?
Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Born in 1809 in a small town. Father was a clergyman.
Went to Cambridge University.
1830 published “Poems Chiefly Lyrical” without much success or acclaim.
Continued writing and finished his studies.
Best friend Arthur Hallaman died suddenly in 1833.
Devastated Tennyson;
Changed his life and writing forever.
Published “In Memoriam” in 1850 as an extended elegy for his friend.
Prince Albert was so impressed by this elegy that Queen Victoria declared Tennyson as England’s poet laureate.
In 1884 Queen Victoria made him a Baron, thus his title “Lord.”
Considered the poetic voice of his age by the public and his collegues.
What is a Ballad?
Song-like narrative poem with lyrical rhyme and meter. (Narrative means that it tells a story).
Word Music: the rhythm, cadences and sound devices that create a song-like quality. When you read a ballad, you almost want to sing it since it has such a nice rhythm.
Short, regular stanzas with a repeated refrain at the end of each stanza
Simple language and rhyme. (In a moment we’ll look at the rhyme scheme).
Often about adventure or romance; depicts emotional, dramatic action.
Centers around one theme or one character.
The Lady of Shalott
Content
Based in Arthurian Legend
About how society accepts or does not accept the artist, (she is the artist who weaves tapestries of the world–scenes she sees).
Lady lives under a curse that keeps her isolated from the real world.
Locked in a tower; if she leaves, she will die. (Question of acceptance or not being accepted–there’s the literal meaning; but there’s also a metaphoric and thematic level to the poem).
She weaves a tapestry of the scenes she sees in her magic mirror.
She sees a vision of Sir Lancelot in her mirror.
She decides to leave the tower to find her love, Lancelot, (a very risky decision since she’s aware of the curse she’s under).
Discovers a boat and sails secretly toward Camelot. She carves her name in the boat, which indicates that she knows she might not make it.
She dies before she arrives without ever seeing Lancelot.
At the end, he bestows a blessing on her, so he at least, gets to see her.
Form
9-line stanzas
One line refrain at the end of each stanza
lambic pentameter (which contributes to the song-like quality)
Rhyme Scheme–aaaa(b)ccc(b) (which means, 4 lines that end with words that all rhyme with each other. Then a line that ends in a word that doesn’t rhyme with the previous 4 lines. The first “b” ends in Lancelot, or Camelot. The second “b” is Shalott. The first part we learn about Camelot and it’s scenic beauty. The second part we learn about the curse. In the third section we learn about Lancelot and how she falls in love with him. In the fourth section, she decides to leave the tower and search for Lancelot, which ends in the tragedy of her death. But she still gets that blessing from Lancelot in the end.
Contrasting Images
Solitary life of the lady vs. busy life of Lancelot in Camelot. How does Tennyson describe her solitary life? How does he depict the busy life of Lancelot in Camelot?
Analysis
Tennyson’s reflection on a broad crisis of faith in Victorian England. How does a broad crisis in faith match up with Lady Shalott?
Tennyson longs for refuge in the past, for simpler times. (The broad crisis of faith is a conflict, and Arthurian Times seem easier, simpler).
Portrays the “lady” as having no life inside the tower (no fulfillment, no companionship, no interaction with people), but only death outside the tower. Her existence inside the tower can be categorized as a type of living death. It’s a “No-Win” or “Catch 22″ situation.
Idea that we can never realize our fantasies, that once possible, the allure is gone. (Think of a time that you really, really wanted something, but once you got it, it wasn’t special anymore. This is kind of the idea Tennyson is portraying here).
Fantasies cannot be fully realized because they are always better in our minds than in reality. Perhaps the Lady’s conception of Lancelot is better than who he really is, and it was fruitless for her to try to go after him. But still, he bestows his blessing on her. How does this affect this notion of conflict–that fantasies can’t be realized because fantasies aren’t reality? She how this all works into the poem.
You can read this poem and concentrate on the surface, or literal meaning. Or you can read the poem and think about the metaphorical meaning.
On either side the river lie
Long fields of barley and of rye,
That clothe the wold and meet the sky;
And thro’ the field the road runs by
To many-tower’d Camelot;
And up and down the people go,
Gazing where the lilies blow
Round an island there below,
The island of Shalott.
Willows whiten, aspens quiver,
Little breezes dusk and shiver
Through the wave that runs for ever
By the island in the river
Flowing down to Camelot.
Four grey walls, and four grey towers,
Overlook a space of flowers,
And the silent isle imbowers
The Lady of Shalott.
By the margin, willow veil’d,
Slide the heavy barges trail’d
By slow horses; and unhail’d
The shallop flitteth silken-sail’d
Skimming down to Camelot:
But who hath seen her wave her hand?
Or at the casement seen her stand?
Or is she known in all the land,
The Lady of Shalott?
Only reapers, reaping early,
In among the bearded barley
Hear a song that echoes cheerly
From the river winding clearly;
Down to tower’d Camelot;
And by the moon the reaper weary,
Piling sheaves in uplands airy,
Listening, whispers, ” ‘Tis the fairy
Lady of Shalott.”
There she weaves by night and day
A magic web with colours gay.
She has heard a whisper say,
A curse is on her if she stay
To look down to Camelot.
She knows not what the curse may be,
And so she weaveth steadily,
And little other care hath she,
The Lady of Shalott.
And moving through a mirror clear
That hangs before her all the year,
Shadows of the world appear.
There she sees the highway near
Winding down to Camelot;
There the river eddy whirls,
And there the surly village churls,
And the red cloaks of market girls
Pass onward from Shalott.
Sometimes a troop of damsels glad,
An abbot on an ambling pad,
Sometimes a curly shepherd lad,
Or long-hair’d page in crimson clad
Goes by to tower’d Camelot;
And sometimes through the mirror blue
The knights come riding two and two.
She hath no loyal Knight and true,
The Lady of Shalott.
But in her web she still delights
To weave the mirror’s magic sights,
For often through the silent nights
A funeral, with plumes and lights
And music, went to Camelot;
Or when the Moon was overhead,
Came two young lovers lately wed.
“I am half sick of shadows,” said
The Lady of Shalott.
A bow-shot from her bower-eaves,
He rode between the barley sheaves,
The sun came dazzling thro’ the leaves,
And flamed upon the brazen greaves
Of bold Sir Lancelot.
A red-cross knight for ever kneel’d
To a lady in his shield,
That sparkled on the yellow field,
Beside remote Shalott.
The gemmy bridle glitter’d free,
Like to some branch of stars we see
Hung in the golden Galaxy.
The bridle bells rang merrily
As he rode down to Camelot:
And from his blazon’d baldric slung
A mighty silver bugle hung,
And as he rode his armor rung
Beside remote Shalott.
All in the blue unclouded weather
Thick-jewell’d shone the saddle-leather,
The helmet and the helmet-feather
Burn’d like one burning flame together,
As he rode down to Camelot.
As often thro’ the purple night,
Below the starry clusters bright,
Some bearded meteor, burning bright,
Moves over still Shalott.
His broad clear brow in sunlight glow’d;
On burnish’d hooves his war-horse trode;
From underneath his helmet flow’d
His coal-black curls as on he rode,
As he rode down to Camelot.
From the bank and from the river
He flashed into the crystal mirror,
“Tirra lirra,” by the river
Sang Sir Lancelot.
She left the web, she left the loom,
She made three paces through the room,
She saw the water-lily bloom,
She saw the helmet and the plume,
She look’d down to Camelot.
Out flew the web and floated wide;
The mirror crack’d from side to side;
“The curse is come upon me,” cried
The Lady of Shalott.
In the stormy east-wind straining,
The pale yellow woods were waning,
The broad stream in his banks complaining.
Heavily the low sky raining
Over tower’d Camelot;
Down she came and found a boat
Beneath a willow left afloat,
And around about the prow she wrote
The Lady of Shalott.
And down the river’s dim expanse
Like some bold seer in a trance,
Seeing all his own mischance –
With a glassy countenance
Did she look to Camelot.
And at the closing of the day
She loosed the chain, and down she lay;
The broad stream bore her far away,
The Lady of Shalott.
Lying, robed in snowy white
That loosely flew to left and right –
The leaves upon her falling light –
Thro’ the noises of the night,
She floated down to Camelot:
And as the boat-head wound along
The willowy hills and fields among,
They heard her singing her last song,
The Lady of Shalott.
Heard a carol, mournful, holy,
Chanted loudly, chanted lowly,
Till her blood was frozen slowly,
And her eyes were darkened wholly,
Turn’d to tower’d Camelot.
For ere she reach’d upon the tide
The first house by the water-side,
Singing in her song she died,
The Lady of Shalott.
Under tower and balcony,
By garden-wall and gallery,
A gleaming shape she floated by,
Dead-pale between the houses high,
Silent into Camelot.
Out upon the wharfs they came,
Knight and Burgher, Lord and Dame,
And around the prow they read her name,
The Lady of Shalott.
Who is this? And what is here?
And in the lighted palace near
Died the sound of royal cheer;
And they crossed themselves for fear,
All the Knights at Camelot;
But Lancelot mused a little space
He said, “She has a lovely face;
God in his mercy lend her grace,
The Lady of Shalott.”
You know those cartoons in which the character has to make a really difficult decision? Where on one shoulder sits an Angel who is working hard to convince the character to do the right thing, and on the other shoulder sits the Devil, who is working just as hard to persuade the character to go against what the character knows is right? This is called an ethical dilemma.
Ethical Dilemma: A situation in which a choice must be made between acting on one’s morals and another motivator (like money, fame, etc.).
Do what’s right = Negative outcome, or you won’t get what you really want like you would if you did the wrong thing.
Do what’s wrong = some sort of payoff, or reward which is positive. But is it worth going against your moral fiber, living with the consequences?
Ethical dilemmas are good to use for internal/external conflicts, especially when it’s hard for the reader to decide what is best for the protagonist to do. When writing, you can’t make it easy for your characters; you can’t give an obvious correct choice. Like in one of the Spider Man movies he had to choose between saving his girlfriend, or saving a tram full of people. Of course, he managed to save both–but what if he wasn’t able to? Whatever he chose, the consequences sucked.
Today we’re going to talk about analyzing written media, and we’re going to talk about editorial cartoons.
Editorial cartoons (aka political) cartoons are a form of print media that uses symbols to convey their message.
Editorial cartoons are one of the most popular forms of cartoons.
Pictures with messages
Intended to persuade
found in newspapers, magazines and more
often regarding politics or current events
Editorial Cartoons–Analysis
Sounds so formal, no? But really there isn’t all that much to it because–
Without realizing it, you have been analyzing written and visual media for a long time. We are just going to hone up on this and point out the processes involved in your analysis.
What are the key points to consider when evaluating media?
Look closely at the images
Listen closely to the words and how the words sound
Pay close attention to the methods the media uses to convince their audience to embrace a belief/product
Analyze the media’s credibility–can you or should you trust this source?
Be aware of the point of view on the subject. Are they con (against) or pro (for) for the subject discussed? Is the media taking a liberal side or a conservative side?
Does the artist have something to gain? What’s in it for them if they get people to believe in what’s reflected in their cartoon?
When Analyzing a Cartoon Consider the Following–
Symbolism: What are the people representing? What are the buildings representing?
Exaggeration: That might be physical exaggeration like characteristics on a cartoon’s face or elongated arms, or a huge nose, etc. Or it might be exaggeration of a situation–like everybody in town started doing something.
Labeling: A person wearing a sign. A building being named one thing. Or it can be a metaphorical labeling where Saddam is a turkey and Bush is a pilgrim.
Analogies: Be aware. Is a certain relationship being compared to other relationships/people? In other words, what comparisons are being drawn by the cartoonist.
Irony: When the audience knows something that the characters don’t. How does that impact the message?
A Few Last Things To Consider:
Characterization: Are they portrayed as important, that is, major characters? Or minor characters?
Non-verbal gestures: Are the drawn characters doing something that portrays the illustrator’s opinion?
Actions performed/props. Sometimes the character will be wearing something or holding something that carries a lot of weight in terms of the message.
Characters’ positions–how close they are standing/sitting to each other. Does this give a hint as to what their relationship is or what is going on?
Caption–something written along the bottom or top of the cartoon that may give another layer of meaning to the message.
Speech bubbles–what are they saying to each other.
Watching for all of these things you are better prepared to approach these issues. If you aren’t fully aware of what the illustrator is trying to portray, things might still seep into your subconscious and sway you when you don’t want to be swayed. You need to actively read, analyze, be aware, be critiquing and engage in these cartoons.
