Gloria & Audrey Harchar

People have been asking me why I returned to teaching. Why not stay at home and write full time?

• It’s weird, but when I was teaching I was more productive in my writing. I find when I don’t have much time, I don’t squander time–time doesn’t get away from me like it did when I wrote full time. That said, teaching in a new school I find I’m having to revamp lesson plans. I’m also teaching a lot online. So I’m not as productive in my writing as I will be, once I get in more of a routine with this new teaching position.
• When I stayed at home writing full time, I had a difficult time saying no to people when they would ask me to do things, go places, and volunteer.
• I find when I teach I have a lot more writing ideas. I write with more emotions, more colorfully. I have more fodder for my stories.
• Since I’m writing a Young Adult series, I find it useful to surround myself with teenagers. I’m at the alternative school, and I’m finding all sorts of conflicts that the students have to deal with on a daily basis. I get to see first hand how they react, how they manage their lives.
• Teaching this year has given me all sorts of ideas for my writing. I might not get to write as much as I want to–at least, not yet. But the scenes are popping into my head and the story I’ve been wanting to write since last summer is finally taking shape. I’m beginning to write again, which is exciting to me!!

I’ve been reviewing James Scott Bell’s book called Plot and Structure. It’s really good and if you get the chance to get it, do so.

What is plot? Per learner.org, plot is a causal sequence of events in a story.

Look at the following: The boy died in a boating accident and the father died in a car crash. Is this plot?From this statement, can we say that the two deaths are related, other than the two people were father and son? Did one event cause the other? We don’t know–at least, not from this information.

But if I said: The boy died in a boating accident. When the father received the news on his cell phone, he lost control of the car and spun off a cliff. Now that is plot. An incident happened which caused a chain of related events.

So, what kind of a plotter are you? You might be one of those writers who likes to have the story all worked out in your mind before you write your novel. You preplan, plan, and revise the plan before writing. Maybe you have index cards all over your wall or you store you scenes in your computer.

Or, you could be a writer who doesn’t like to plan at all. You might like to plop down at your computer desk and just write, letting the story flow without planning, anxious to see what your wild writer’s mind will conjure up.

After studying hundreds of plots, Bell says he has developed a simple set of foundational principals he calls LOCK.

L=Lead

O=Objective

C=Confrontation

K=Knockout

The lead, or protagonist, must be interesting. She doesn’t have to be sympathetic, that is, likable–compelling. Enough so that the reader will want to keep reading to discover what happened to her.

Objective is the what. What does the protagonist, or lead, want?

Confrontation is what is keeping the lead from getting her goal.

Knockout is an analogy to the boxing ring. Everyone watches a boxing match because they are anticipating the big move, that punch that knocks out the opponent–that big climax where everything accumulates and comes to the tip of the summit. That string is getting tighter and tighter and you are anticipating that huge snap! where the string breaks.

Overall, this is a nice change to how I’ve been taught. Bell skims over the motivation–at least he does in his LOCK system. And the example of the obstacle was more external, rather than internal. But mostly it was pretty good.

Theme is the deeper meaning of a text, the insight about life which comes both from the author and the reader.

Themes are what may influence your life long after you’ve completed reading the story. The author is going to put some clues and information into the story, but the reader is going to bring their life experiences to the text. Together those things are going to lead to the insight about life.

Looking for theme?

It’s difficult to find theme, and, what’s more, have others agree with you. Too, it’s sometimes challenging to put it into words.

The title may be a clue. Authors are very picky about their titles (unless the editor influences the change of title). Anyhoo, titles may point you in the right direction for what the author wants the reader to get out of the text.

Watch how the characters change, or how they don’t change. This might be a clue to the theme.

Focus in on the most important events in the story.

Pay special attention to the resolution of the story. When it’s all said and done, what happens to everybody?

Style: How writers use language to express themselves.

The author might play with punctuation, put it in unusual spots to create an effect rather than follow the rules of grammar.

Sound patterns might hint at the theme.

plot twists, repeated symbols or themes, rhythm.

The author might use figurative language, such as similes, metaphor, hyperbole and personification to keep things interesting, keep the reader turning the pages.

Or they might rely on imagery, or different visuals that come up time and time again.

Style is the hardest thing to teach someone, but it’s the best tool an author has because it lets the author’s personality come to the surface.

It may help reflect a theme, mood or message.

It is that mysterious element that hooks you on an author. Style is what keeps you reading late into the night.

When you start writing your own stories, experiment with these elements to find your own sparkling, unique style!

Mood: The emotion or feeling the author creates with words.

• The author’s description of the setting is one was of creating mood.
• For example: Let’s take an ordinary scene of prairie country with some scattered trees, partly cloudy sky, a medium strength wind blowing. How can an author change the description of the setting to affect the mood?

• Rewrite #1: The plain was wild and unbroken but for a few mighty oaks that stood tall in the distance. The sun blazed copper in the sky, and the wind swirled the clouds into a creamy froth high above, and the tall grasses into an endless dance below.

• This rewrite has evoked, or brought out strong emotion. “Wild and unbroken” gives us the sense of an untamed land that is beautiful, but that could be dangerous. It gives us a sense of the unknown, unexplored. Stood tall, copper sun all gives us a feeling of freedom.

• Rewrite #2: The open space gaped hungrily as far as the eye could see. Sprawling trees were bent into weird demon-like shapes from the endless wind–the same wind that clutched at my body and howled angrily through the grasses of the plains.

• Look at all the bold phrases. This rewrite evokes a totally different mood–more dark and full of fear. So there are a lot of descriptive words that create a more sinister mood.

• Rewrite #3: The flatness of the land was a sigh of relief after the jagged mountains to the west. The tall lush grasses and ancient oaks scattered about were a testament to the richness of the soil. I looked up at the fluffy clouds in the deep blue sky, and the persistent wind nudged me forward. Home, it seemed to whisper. Home.

• Again, the author is describing the same place, but this writing creates a much different mood. Here the mood is welcoming, peaceful, calm. We get this feeling from word choices such as “sigh of relief” and “lush grasses,” “richness of the soil,” and “fluffy clouds.” The wind is persistent, not aggressive. Also, the wind is whispering, opposed to howling–which makes the mood more welcoming. Having the word home is peaceful too.

Just by tweaking language and paying attention to word choice we can change the mood of the piece.

Keys to Mood Through Setting

• Why would we want to do this, to reflect the mood through setting? You might want to reveal the mood of the protagonist through the setting, or serve as a foil. For instance, the protagonist might have just lost a loved one, but the sky is bright and clear–almost like contradicting his despairing, grieving mood. Maybe the sunny day makes him angry at God for being so callous to his grief.
• The setting may mirror conflict in the story. Like a hurricane might reflect an impending argument between a protagonist and secondary character.
• Foreshadow an event in the plot.

Pirates of the Caribbean

At the beginning, we see a ship on a foggy sea. The weather is foul. Then a boy appears on a piece of broken piece of wood. Then the wreckage appears out of the mist. What mood is the setting helping to create? It’s helping to create a feeling of dread.

Authors can do the same with words. Using the right words will invoke the feelings you want your audience to experience while reading your story.

Finding Nemo

Nemo lives in a world full of color. And that’s how the movie starts, with Nemo swimming happily in his aquarium. Then he has to leave and travel into a gray-green sea full of particles that makes it hard to see. How does that contrast in the setting make the audience feel? The mood becomes more threatening, more unknown.

Defining Sentence Fluency

• When you read a particular piece aloud ask yourself, does it flow naturally? Does it keep moving forward smoothly, maintaining your interest?
• Sentence fluency is the natural, engaging rhythm of writing.

What Affects the Flow of Writing?

• Speed: long vs. short sentences
• Repetition: thoughtless or thoughtful
• Order of clauses and simple, compound, complex sentences
• sound devices to slow down of speed up your writing
• Varied transitions and beginnings

Which of the other traits can you see sentence fluency being most tied to?

Repetition is like IDEAS and ORGANIZATION, transitions is like IDEAS, sound devices is like WORD CHOICE issue.

Fried Fluency #1: Thoughtless Repetition and Choppy Sentences

Blah:

“Field trips are an important part of education. Field trips let students see how what they are learning matters outside the classroom. Students are actually able to see ideas in action. Field trips also provide a change in routine. Changes in routine can keep education exciting.”

With the choppy sentences and the word repetition of the section above, this essay is anything but interesting. It needs some revision.

• Can we change the fluency but keep the ideas and word choice almost the same?

Goal: change the lengths and types of sentences

Better:

“Because they let students see how what they are learning matters outside the classroom, field trips are an important part of education. Students are actually able to see ideas in action. Field trips also provide a change in routine, which helps keep education exciting.”

We began with a complex sentence, with a subordinate clause first. The next sentence is a simple sentence. Vary in you sentence structure!!!

Taking Risks with Language

• Include figurative language
• Utilize keen, sharp verbs–and fewer adverbs!

Instead of ran quickly, say dash,

and instead of walked slowly, say crawled

• Try exact nouns for authenticity and clarity. It will make it seem you know what you are talking about and it will bring a clearer picture of what you are talking about.

If  you are writing about going to the beach, don’t say you saw birds. Tell what kind of birds they are. Are they gulls?

• Include appropriate use of alliteration, rhyme, and sound devices
• Some words should be a bit new to you–you are stretching as a writer.
• Use adjectives that illuminate, using many different senses
• Figurative Language? Like what? Similes, metaphors, hyperbole, personification, etc.
• Blah:      The town was small and run-down.
• Better:     The gray, tired town was just small enough that the large oak at the south end of town hid it completely from the view of most travelers of State Route 55.

The town being described as tired is personification. Also, its hard for a whole town to be hidden by a tree.

• Blah:    Martha was fast. She ran faster than anyone else in her grade.
• Better:   Anyone who watched Martha run said she must have had a tornado for a father and a rocket for a mother. The girl was that fast.  (this is a hyperbole)

• Figurative Language? Like what? Similes, metaphors, hyperbole, personification, etc.
• Blah:    He heard beautiful music–the most amazing music he’d ever heard. He stood perfectly still, listening, until he forgot everything else.
• Better:    The music was sunlight and racing barefoot in summer. It was cool water in a tall glass, laughter, the best dream he’d ever had. He froze, letting wave after wave crash over him until everything else was washing away, and finally, just he was left, like foam weightless on top of this ocean of sound.

Music, here, is being described with metaphors and similes.

Six Traits Lecture: Close-up on Voice

Defining Voice

• Does this piece seem like anyone could have written it, or does it have a distinct personality?

– The uniqueness of what is said and how it is said helps define voice.

If Voice Depends On the Author, What Makes It Good?

• the author cares about the topic–and you can tell by how they talk about it
• the tone is appropriate to the subject and the audience
• strong feeling, honest statements
• clear and well-developed personality–the writing is able to create a connection and seeming interaction between author and audience
• does the writing have a gift for voice? well… do you feel something when you read their work?
• would you keep reading it even if it were much longer?

So, Does the Author Care??

Bad Idea:

• I’m writing because I think school dress codes are a bad idea.

(There isn’t anything to expand on this idea. )

Better Idea:

• By setting restrictions on appropriate dress, schools create more problems then they solve.

(Now, there is some thing to work with! You can discuss the problems dress code creates rather than solves.)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Bad Idea:

• It’s really bad when stupid people let their pets go in the wild, like in the Everglades with all the pythons. I think it’s dangerous because those snakes destroy everything.

Better Idea:

• When they release pets into the wild, well-meaning but uninformed owners are triggering potential catastrophes. One example is the increasing threat from the giant Burmese pythons in the Florida Everglades. A fierce predator, the python is dangerous for birds, mammals, alligators, and perhaps even humans.

Setting the Tone

formal vs informal

Tones to have in your writing: Dreamy, Frustrated, Concerned, Sarcastic, Sincere, or Humorous

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst

(Good example of tone, though the first sentence breaks the rules with a run-on sentence. But this is done for the purpose of tone. The character is a very upset little boy and this is how he would express all his thoughts.)

“At breakfast Antony found a Corvette Sting Ray car kit in his breakfast cereal box and Nick found a Junior Undercover Agent code ring in his breakfast cereal box but in my breakfast cereal box all I found was breakfast cereal. I think I’ll move to Australia.”

Other Notes on Voice

• The trait of voice is highly linked to word choice.
• The narrative voice is not the same thing as the author–a capable author can use different voices when necessary.
• Voice is perhaps the hardest thing to teach or formally learn. It is acquired by reading heaps and heaps and writing loads!

Voice Pitfalls

Forcing a persona that isn’t you and about whom you don’t know very much

• trying to sound intelligent: intelligence comes through with clean, effective, accurate points, not “verbal fluff” and fancy words
• trying to speak from the point of view of someone different from you if you don’t understand their perspective in an authentic way

Showing your feelings by stating them instead of showing them through powerful language (This is BAD, BAD, BAD)

• Remember the examples from earlier about dress codes and the Burmese pythons?

Wrapping It Up: The Big Picture in Voice

• Care about your topic. If you have no choice in the topic, find an angle that you can care about. That will give your writing power.
• Be honest about who you are and what you believe–don’t put something just because you think you’ll get a better grade or a better reception if you say something other than what you believe.
• Let your writing take on personality. You want to create a connection with your audience–you want them to be excited to read more of what you have to say in the future.

Close-up on Organization

• Where do I start?
• What kind of organization could be unique, clear, and interesting?
• Is this writing supposed to inform, persuade, or entertain? What type of organization would work best for my purpose?

Tio Armando by Florence Parry Heide & Roxanne Heide Peirce

What is this story trying to do?

• show how a family changed with the presence of Tio Armando over a year; show the legacy he left to his great-grandniece

How is it organized?

• each page shows a new month over a year; reflects on the changes the family experienced

What other types of writing could be organized this way?

• a poem about a place or growing up; an essay about environmental changes, something documentary-style showing steps in a political movement (like a campaign, a war, or a civil rights movement)

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst

What is this story trying to do?

• demonstrate how this was truly a terrible day for Alexander

How is it organized?

• chronological order, from the moment he awakes until he’s back in bed

What other types of writing could be organized this way?

• interview/autobiography/profile of a famous person, showing a typical day in the life of any writing that depends on order of events (narratives)

Everybody Needs a Rock by Byrd Baylor

Whats is this story trying to do?

• make selecting a rock into something of a ceremony; make the rock more special

How is it organized?

• as a list of ten rules

What other types of writing could be organized this way?

• tips or suggestions–non-fiction writing, comedy writing and satire (annotated top-ten lists)

Alternative Organizations

• Cause and effect–persuasive pieces, history
• Framing or flashbacks–fiction, non-fiction that requires background
• Postcard or letter style–Focus on relationships, journeys, and first-hand accounts
• Diary or journal style–Focus on first-hand accounts (fiction or non-fiction); a way to bring history to life

Universally Awesome Organization: The Day the Whale Came by Eve Bunting

• Hook: Boom! Right from the beginning we have a reason to keep reading and we are drawn in.
• Strong body with transitions: Good connecting words, and everything follows through
• Mighty conclusion
• A comprehensive title
• and a common thread tying it all together

How to Hook ‘em: Rate These Starters!

Let’s start with a piece about going scuba diving:

“I have always thought the ocean is a beautiful and interesting place, so I was excited to go scuba diving.”

If this is the first sentence of the piece, would you be driven to read more???

How about:

“Last summer, I went scuba diving for the first time. It was amazing.”

Again, would you be driven to read more???

Let’s give it another try:

“Tiny fish sparked with vibrant colors in the jade-green waters that cradled me and the tank of oxygen on my back. I had been excited about diving for the first time, but not even I had predicted it would feel like this–weightless in some otherworldly work of living art.”

Notice the difference between the first two and the third example starters. In the first two, they are TELLING. The ocean is “beautiful,” “interesting,” “amazing.” Don’t tell, just take the reader there and create a strong hook by using the senses or something that conjures a poignant image.

We have tiny fish, jade-green waters, a sensation of being held by the water, being weightless, and being within a work of living art. Suddenly, we have a very sensory experience the reader can fall into. The focus is on figurative language.

Next:

“Imagine how it would feel to give up dry land, the ability to breathe freely, and sunlight for two hours. Last summer, I did just that, and my life has never been the same.”

This is totally different. Here you are asking the reader to imagine and take things that are very essential to life and make the reader wonder what it would be like without them.

Capture an emotion or get the reader to imagine a scene.

“It felt like a dream.”

The short, simple sentence above could also be your first sentence and your hook. It raises the questions, “What?” and “Why?” Use a short, intriguing sentence that you build off of later.

” ‘Ocean: a body of water occupying two-thirds of a world made for man–who has no gills.’ (Ambrose Bierce)  This past summer, I got my gills.”

Here is an example of starting with a quote and tying into your life. By good use of a relevant quotation you’ve created a good hook.

Wrapping It Up: Mighty Conclusions

• Restate your point in fresh words.
• End with a quote.
• Share an insight or make a wish.
• Make a prediction.
• Issue a call to action.
• End with a strong image, use figurative language, have the reader imagine.

Wrapping It Up: Organization

• You have loads of options! Pick what works for what your writing is trying to say.
• Hook them with your intro!
• Build with strong transitions in your body!
• Wrap up with a mighty conclusion.
• Choose an interesting title that reflects all your piece, not just part.

TOPICS VS. IDEAS

ROUND 1

We need a sense of how narrow a topic needs to be for us to write about it. Roughly, let’s start with this example:

Topic: My dog

Ideas: She’s funny.

“I have a really funny dog named Boo. She is just hilarious. We laugh all the time at the stuff she does. My mom says she’s the funniest pet we’ve ever had. She chases all sorts of things–squirrels, cars, lights, my brother. She’s a really fun and funny pet.”

Ideas: What do you have to say?

The paper is clear and focused. It holds the reader’s attention. Relevant anecdotes and details enrich the central theme.

• Narrow, manageable topic
• Quality details go beyond the obvious or predictable
• Writing from experience–ideas fresh and original

So, back to the funny dog story. As a reader, we are unamused. We need to get solid ideas out there to communicate to the reader.

• Look! (And listen, touch, taste, smell…whatever!)
• Try to get the creative juices going.

There is the topic: dog. But really not any ideas. So lets decide on that.

• Boo runs until she is sick
• Chases lights from windows or water glass reflections or watches.
• Barks at the horses on TV
• Good at soccer, for a dog
• Ate mouse poison (eats everything!)
• Tries to get the laser pointer “red bug” and cries when she can’t
• Barks at real-life horses
• Tries to catch her own tail

These are really concrete examples about the dog that may be something to write about. Using examples like this, tell a story, an anecdote, to make your words come to life.

TAKE 1

The new topic can now change to:

My dog: Goofy or Gifted?

And the new ideas:

Mom says she’s not very smart because she does stuff like chase light on the floor and play ball until she gets sick, but I think that curiosity is a sign of serious smarts.

Now, a new take on the introduction to the essay:

“The debate probably started before Red Bug appeared, but it’s Red Bug that seems to be one of Mom’s big points in proving that my dog, Boo, isn’t the brightest crayon in the box. You see, when a dog is driven to crying because her best efforts aren’t helping her catch a dot of red laser light skimming across the floor, for some reason my Mom thinks that’s a sign the dog isn’t too bright. For me, though, Boo’s fascination with Red Bug is a sign of curiosity… and curiosity is a mark of intelligence. Sure, Boo’s “investigations” into her world aren’t exactly scientific–and they often make me laugh until I hurt!–but that doesn’t mean my puppy is on the slow side!”

This new introduction has more depth and examples. We can now also compare Boo with Red Bug, and the difference between how mother and daughter feel about this one dog.

IDEAS: WHERE’D WE GO RIGHT?

• We took a close look at our topic and brainstormed.
• We picked an angle.
• We got specific.
• We used anecdotes.

HOW DO WE KEEP GOING STRONG?

• Stay specific and highlight what makes Boo different from other dogs.
• Make everything point toward the debate between writer and her mother. But make sure this isn’t a sidetrack part, though it is a major part of the essay. Remember to stay clear.
• Stay away from stereotypes or universal stories. No one wants to read what one already knows.

WRAPPING IT UP: IDEAS AND CONTENT

• Take a close look– investigate with your senses until you realize what it is you actually want to say about your topic.
• Brainstorm–try more than one type of idea-generating. Webs, lists, freewrites, diagrams, and flow charts all work! Keep going until you have an idea that strikes you!
• Be specific and relevant in choosing details and examples.

WHAT MAKES WRITING GOOD?

What type of writing is it?

What is it intended to do?

Universals:

• Clear: You should be able to get it without busting your braincells. You’re going to have to do some thinking, but the point should be visible.
• Creative: Good writing should be creative, interesting, unexpected.
• Carefully-crafted: There’s a great attention to detail.
• Correct: Good writing should be correct in terms of grammar and syntax.
• Clean: You are going to pick up a nice, clean copy of a book. It’s going to look professional.
• Compelling: It should pull the reader in. Make them not let go until the end.

THE SIX TRAITS (PLUS ONE!)

Ideas: What do you have to say?

Organization: Do ideas follow logically from each other? Are thoughts arranged for maximum effect? Have you chosen an order to paste things to best impart your message to the reader?

Voice: Does it have your thumbprint? Does it sound like something you would write and only you can put this personal seal on it?

Word Choice: Do your descriptions and explanations ” pop?” Do they make your words come to life?

Sentence Fluency: Do the pace and flow pull you along through the piece? Do they speed up when they should speed up and slow down when they should slow down?

Conventions: Are grammar and other conventions observed? You do need good grammar in your work but it should not be the main focus when you write.

Presentation: Does it have your thumbprint?? (hopefully not!) A clean paper is important. It looks like you take pride in your work if the ink isn’t smudged and the page isn’t bent. Make it look professional.

THE WRITING PROCESS AND SIX TRAITS

Remember the writing process: Prewriting, Drafting and revising, Editing, Publishing

• Prewriting is when ideas and organization are thought about and formed.
• In drafting and revising, you don’t stop working with ideas and organization. You’re also going to be working with work choice, voice and sentence fluency. You’re going to set it all out and try to improve things specifically
• While editing is when you should only worry about conventions. You shouldn’t deal with grammar until this step.
• Publishing is presentation.

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU’VE GOT IT?

Here is the rating system:

1. NOT YET: a bare beginning; writer not yet showing any control
2. EMERGING: need for revision outweighs strengths; isolated moments hint at what the writer has in mind
3. DEVELOPING: strengths and need for revision are about equal; about half-way home
4. EFFECTIVE: on balance, the strengths outweigh the weaknesses; a small amount of revision is needed
5. STRONG: shows control and skill in this trait; many strengths present